Recounting Blessings 5-09

Some singular experiences that have made my life so beautiful - I wrote these down in my journal this morning when I was recounting how blessed my day had been the day before, with so many good experiences and laugh-out-loud moments of joy.

(I have purposefully left out most of the names for various reasons, mostly just to be on the safe side)

-Playing Chess with my friend Dan, talking about everything under the sun
-Reading Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader to City of rest guys
-Helping with art class - drawing a dragon from The Dawn Treader, encouraging, giving ideas, my jaw dropping at some of the images or someone's creativity
-Saying "I love you" to Mama Gobe (the Pastor's wife at City of Rest) and eating her meals she offers me for free daily for working at the City
-Recounting game night, drinking Cream Soda with my friends while getting trounced in a game called Settler of Cattan and also chess
-Eating mango (nothing more be said)
-Inspiring others by playing music in the guitar, namely Sting and Shawn McDonald
-Teaching poetry and imagery, metaphor and simile to my friend, using ballads from Sting
-Forgiving someone who has hurt me then moving into friendship again - releasing wound-up feelings of grief and woundedness and separation
-Asking to be forgiven
-Watching Lighthouse girls give each other courage to stand-up and sing their musical creations
-Sharing a plate of fish and rice with Dan
-Sharing my day with my friend Katherine in a tightly packed poda-poda (the public transport buses) on the way home for the day
-Teaching someone guitar - over and over patiently bearing and correcting finger positions
-Watching a boy's eyes light up as I explain the story and imagery of the Chronicles of Narnia
-Clasping hands and greeting everyone at the City of Rest with a smile - even though there are those who don't acknowledge me
-Writing music with a woman and some other friends at the City
-Praying over a woman, with her hastily and unprofessionally attached IV bag, sleeping with high fever
-Seeing a man normally in complete psychosis smile back at me when I smile at him
-Playing my good friend in draft (a game very similar to checkers) ahnd watching him express himself in the only way that he can - through shadings and magnificent watercolors (I swear I'm going to set-up an art gallery in tribute to the man)
-Listening to Jazz
-Taking a cold shower after a long, hot day
-Kicking football around with a couple of boys from Lighthouse at the beach
-Watching the Zizer kids (the children of the family I live with) squeal in the break of a wave, threatening to knock them off their feet
-Laughing with hilarious abandon at my Lighthouse small group antics, especially with one of my friends (the loud Joseph for those who know him)
-Watching one of the goofier Lighthouse boys descend from his facade of seriousness into uncontrollable laughter snickering and then gut-wrenching laughter at the drop of a hat
-waking up to the sounds of birds and neighborhood life - not an alarm clock
-Coming home late to see the Zizer children passed out in any of the various positions they may have been in the midst of doing something
-Teaching a small boy at the City of Rest how to throw a paper airplane

...so many more blessings have been poured out on me while living and working here! god has made my life erupt with good things, if I can only live fully and lovingly for the rest of my weeks here... again, please pray for me

Update 5-02

Last week was completely taken up by a series of seminars about "Children in Crisis" which went into a lot of detail about exploitation and the effects of trauma and mental stress on children in post-war environments. It was very helpful but also heart-wrenching, because we are living here among a generation of war-torn personalities and mentalities. Life here is hard, not for myself in particular, but just really for everyone who lives here. As the weeks wind down (I have less than 7 weeks), I am wondering how I will react in my own lifestyle and attitude when I get back to the States. Some days I am just craving for comfort in things familiar, unfortunately the things that are so familiar to me in the states are video games, movies and all the creature comforts. I hope I dont retreat into my comfortable, apathetic lifestyle when I return or it will be better for me to have never to come here. I feel a great burden of responsibility on my shoulders, but my Christ says that his burden is light. And this may mean that I have simply to live and influence the world in the small things that I may, even though they seem insignificant in view of larger, harder problems.

Pray for me to live open-handedly and generously, its so easy to continually live life grasping for whats your own and trying for absolute sovereignty over a place and time that is not my own - even my own life is not my own! Day after day walking past the beggars, cripples and blind men led by their children really can bring me down. There is no way I can lift them up, even if I gave all my money away. I have determined to only contribute to those I am in true, sincere relationship in, but that is so hard when the needs are so widespread and problems so multi-faceted and layered. I long for the kingdom to come, along with its justice, and it is come in the small community that I have found here. But it seems as though the church and the world have such a long way to go.

Please pray for me. I am hard pressed some of these days to see life positively, and the point was long past when there were easy answers. Living with the poor is impossible for me, with the prospect of returning home to the states and securing safety with a US citizenship, but I must attempt to bring their voices out of the depths of obscurity and into the spotlight of the church. It's time to stop witnessing to a kingdom of apathy and greed and start witnessing to the upcoming kingdom of peace, justice and love.

Remember the parable about the two armies. One saw the other coming and the wise commander sent his envoy far ahead, as to parley and make peace before the stronger army could come and overtake them. Lets start making peace with the onward coming kingdom and stop sitting on the fence, cherishing our ignorance about injustice, standing aside with hands raised.